Moonlight: No Such Thing as Vampires

Interviewer:

Do you sleep in a coffin?

Mick:

No! That’s an old wives’ tale. I sleep in a freezer.

Beth:

I’m not leaving without my money shot. Oh my God, did I just say that?

Steve:

Yes.

Beth:

I’ve become a news whore overnight.

Steve:.

Not… overnight.

Beth:

Do I know you?

Mick:

You tell me.

Beth:

You’re a cop, right?

Mick:

No.

Beth:

Reporter?

Mick:

Nope.

Beth:

We’ve met before. You look very familiar.

Mick:

Well, maybe I’ve just got one of those faces.

Beth:

Question: What do you like better? Vampire slaying rocks L.A.–

Mick:

There’s no such thing as vampires.

Mick:

Josef, relax!

Josef:

I am relaxed, totally relaxed. You’re only ninety. You’ve never been chased by a torch bearing mob.

Josef:

Would you care for a liquid refreshment?

Mick:

No, thank you.

Josef:

Are you sure? She’s delicious… ’82 was a good year.

Guillermo:

[to Mick] I don’t know why you like this A-positive so much. The O-positive… It’s got a much better finish.

Beth:

So, don’t you want to know who I am and what I’m doing here?

Mick:

You’re Beth Turner. You work for BuzzWire. [pauses] It’s entertaining.

Beth:

Excuse me, it’s not just entertainment. It’s hard-hitting, investigative… okay, there’s a bit of sleaze.

Mick:

Probably the best.

Beth:

The best what?

Mick:

Thing they have.

Beth:

Oh.

Beth:

A lot of angry people. Angry people make good suspects.

Mick:

And dangerous ones.

Beth:

Don’t worry, I’ll look out for you.

Mick:

You’re kind of pushy, aren’t you?

Beth:

You’ll get used to it.

Josef:

[to Mick] Vampire experts! Beautiful, now we’ve got the food mouthing off about the farmer.

Josef:

It’s the reporter from BuzzWire. She started this whole killer vampire thing. Beth Somebody.

Mick:

Turner.

Josef:

What, you know her?

Mick:

Yeah. We’ve done some breaking and entering together.

Josef:

Well you, my friend, must get her to stop.

Mick:

What do you mean? Like she’s driving along and suddenly her car explodes?

Josef:

I was thinking you ask her nicely, but… fielder’s choice.

Josef:

[to Mick] Hey look, I know you have morals and scruples and that’s fine. Sort of. But you’re not the man I on occasion pretend to respect if you don’t get this under control. I hear you have a soft spot for the mortal ones. A fascination with all the charming things they do when listening to the tick-tick-tick of their own looming demise. That’s fine, that’s good, everyone needs a hobby.

Josef:

‘Cause if that reporter actually finds out who we are, she gets a Pulitzer and we join the list of extinct species.

Mick:

We’re on the same side.

Josef:

Sorry, I’m not questioning your loyalties.

Mick:

Yeah? Good.

Josef:

Vampire solidarity. Rah, rah, rah and all that.

Beth:

[walks in] Okay, here’s what I don’t understand.

Mick:

I’m fine. How are you?

Beth:

You look so familiar. Are you sure we haven’t met before?

Mick:

Yeah, twice now.

Beth:

No, someplace else.

Mick:

I… I guess I just got –

Beth:

One of those faces. I know what you said.

Mick:

[VO] Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another. But you do it. Because you just can’t bear the thought of seeing yourself as a monster in someone else’s eyes.