Hawaii Five-0: 1.10 Palekaiko

Danny:

Ah, mother-in-laws.

Steve:

I take it you didn’t have a good relationship with yours.

Danny:

No, not really. She lives in Manchester. She came to visit once; it was the longest and worst 48 hours of my life.

Steve:

Wait a minute, your mother-in-law came all the way from England and stayed for two days?

Danny:

No, no, no – I checked her into the Holiday Inn after two days. It was me or her, babe.

Danny:

Wow, look at that guy. She obviously married him for his looks.

Kono:

Love is blind.

Danny:

Not that blind.

Kono:

This room alone is bigger than my apartment.

Chin Ho:

The trunk of my car is bigger than your apartment.

Danny:

[To Steve] I know that you have been trained to endure torture. But this is unbearable. Okay? This is not right. Songs this bad make stable people wanna kill other people, you understand?

Kono:

So you work with dead bodies all day and your hobby is… dead bodies?

Max:

I also make pickles. It’s a good way to reuse specimen jars.

Danny:

Please don’t make me wear flowers.

Steve:

Danny, we don’t have a lot of time.

Danny:

I’m gonna do it, okay, but I’m not gonna be happy.

Steve:

Take the tie off. No one one a cruise ship wears a tie.

Danny:

Oh yes they do. They do all the time so they can hang themselves when they’re bored.

Steve:

Okay, well put it in your pocket and you can kill yourself later.

Danny:

This guy is beyond disturbed, okay? I bet he even eats from the buffet line.

Danny:

May 18, 1996.

Steve:

What is that?

Danny:

It was the last time I puked, all right? Don’t make me break my streak.